Proofing
by KNO
Summary: Oh, the joys of proofing your home for the safety of your children. Neji and TenTen try to survive the many ails that come with children. Neji/TenTen pairing. Rated Teen for mild language, some mischeif, and alcohol consumption.
1. Baby Proofing

_So, here's the basic outline for this new fic:_

_It will only be around four to five chapters; it will only include various scenes of Neji and TenTen's parenting; yes Neji and TenTen are married; and I will only update this when I want. :P_

_My friend, youngquil, was giving me some major one-shot material today in Yearbook, and this was one I just decided to try. So, this whole story idea is to her credit. Love you, friend! :D_

_So, that's that. . . I think. If I think of anything else, I'll add it to the next few chapters._

**Disclaimer:** If I owned this, Neji and TenTen would be a canon couple. But obviously, M. Kishimoto hates us all. XD

* * *

Proofing.

_One - Baby Proofing._

"TenTen!" came Neji's frustrated sigh.

"What?" she called from the depths of their house.

Disgruntled, Neji stomped around to find her.

He found her in the kitchen, thumbing through a catalogue containing various sorts of weaponry.

"What is this?" he asked, holding up a spiky metal ball.

TenTen barely glanced at the object.

"It's a flail," she replied shortly.(1)

"And what was it doing in the living room?"

TenTen shrugged, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"You do remember we have a newborn?" prompted Neji, dropping the flail on the counter.

That caught her attention.

"Why, yes, Neji, I do remember something about having a child a few months ago," she said, her voice layered with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes.

"Okay, well, then we have to take care of all of our weapons! She could get them!"

TenTen sighed.

"You think a three month old baby can pick up this flail?" she said in disbelief, picking up the flail and twirling it around a bit to illustrate her point. "It weighs five pounds, Neji."

Neji shrugged, still standing in his convictions.

"Furthermore, she weighs nine pounds. Do you know someone who weighs nine pounds and is able to pick up a five pound object?"

Neji grumbled, muttering to himself.

TenTen smirked.

"I must say though, you're taking your role pretty seriously. . ." she trailed, stepping closer to him.

Neji acknowledged this with a nod but didn't reply.

She kissed him quickly, eventually setting down her flail.

Neji murmured into her ear, "Please get your weapons and put them away."

TenTen huffed out air, sounding exasperated.

"Fine," she mumbled, slowly meandering through the house to gather her weapons.

Not minutes later, however, Neji found himself face-to-face with about twenty numerous varieties of harmful and pointy objects projecting from a hallway closet.

Neji attempted to take a few deep breaths to control his anger.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out too well.

"TENTEN!"

* * *

(1) Flails can also be referred to as spiked maces.

_Eh. I'm not too sure about the ending. But I can't figure how I'd rework it. :/_

_And I'm sorry for the shortness. I couldn't write anything else or I'd repeat myself or the plot. :O Scary thought._

_So, review, if you please._


	2. Toddler Proofing

_So, I said I wouldn't update all the time, just when I wanted . . . but . . . Well, you guys should know me a little better than that by now. My updates are like the weather. So, I got this idea for this specific area (by the way, I have all of these chapters thought ahead) and I wanted to write._

_There you go._

Velvet Beret: _Exactomundo! Give the reviewer a prize! ;D_

TwilightRaver: _Hey! I'm glad it was humorous enough. And again, WtC ending was PERFECT! I can't get over it! :D_

90MLLu: _Thanks. :D Hehe. Yes, he's got a problem with his temper. ;P Yay! Smiles are the best! :D_

Gemina: _Yes, it's kind of sweet, isn't it? :D Hehe. And I liked what you thought what would happen after! :D_

sasusakufan9573: _I'm glad. :)_

StrawberrySmoothie99: _You changed your profile picture! :D Yeah. He's the concerned parent and TenTen's just like, "Whatever." ;D_

jaberjazz: _Haha. I thought it was real enough. ;D Thanks! Wait no longer!_

Kazuya the Random Author: _Thank you so much! Cheerio?! I like Froot Loops. . . ;D Kidding. I know what you meant. :D_

_So, here you go, guys._

**Disclaimer:** It's kind of funny. . . Kishimoto writes some weird stuff.(X)

* * *

Proofing.

_Two - Toddler Proofing._

"Hey—HEY!!" shouted TenTen, tip-toeing carefully around the splotches of yellow liquid on the kitchen floor.

"Not again," Neji said, exhausted as he came up behind his wife.

"Yes, again. Get the mop."

Neji made a sound between disgust and irritation.

In front of him, TenTen was smirking, pleased with herself that once again, she'd conned him into cleaning up the mess.

"Your mom's a weird one, yes?" TenTen murmured to her son, bouncing him a little.

Kaito cooed, amused as his mother was.

TenTen smiled and placed the toddler back in his crib.

Kaito jumped a little, wanting to be taken out again, but TenTen ignored the little feet hitting the mattress, going back into the kitchen.

"All done?" she asked.

Neji cursed in response.

TenTen laughed and watched from the door, her arms crossed.

When Neji finished, he sternly glared at her.

"No more," he warned.

Her eyebrows furrowed, confused.

"Huh?"

"I will not have anymore kids. You can forget it."

TenTen grinned.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll change your mind," she remarked.

Neji shook his head, decisive.

"No, I won't. I swear, I'm never having another kid, ever again."

TenTen rolled her eyes at him.

"Is this because of the messes or because you hate all children?"

Neji shot her a baleful look.

"I'm serious."

"Sure you are."

The quips continued with no sign of stopping.

Until Kaito ambled into the kitchen, headed for the same place he'd leaked a few minutes before. He didn't stop, however, as he ran and wrested open the dryer door.(1)(2)

Giggling, he climbed and hopped into the empty dryer, utterly pleased with himself.(3)

TenTen and Neji watched their son in silent interest.

"How'd he get out of his crib?" muttered TenTen in astonishment as Kaito started playing with a single sheet of fabric softner.

Neji shook his head, unsure.

TenTen rushed to the toddler's room and found the switch that locked the crib unfastened.

Hearing Neji behind her, she said softly, "Holy crap, he's a genius! Just like you!"

"If he's such a genius, why'd he go and play in the dryer? I'd be trying to break out."

TenTen slapped Neji across the back.

"Shut up," she suggested with a smile.

The two heard a louder laugh that belonged to their son and rushed out of the room to locate him.

Kaito was still in the dryer. But he'd found the clothing detergent and was putting it in his hand and holding it to his mouth.

TenTen released a shriek and scooped up the toddler, carrying him to the sink.

"Don't you dare swallow," she ordered as she placed him in the sink and started rinsing out his mouth.

Neji snickered a little. Just a little.

At that moment, Miki walked in through the door, her lunch and playdate with Uncle Naruto's daughter finished.(4)(5)

"What's going on?" she asked, peering at her brother.

Neji shook his head in a don't-ask motion.

Miki nodded and bustled on to her room, not wanting to partake in her family's eccentricities.

"I don't know what upsets me more, the fact that she's embarrassed or that my son, the proclaimed genius, just tried to eat detergent."

"You should probably be fearful of both."

"Great encouragement there, Neji," scoffed TenTen.

He shrugged and walked to where she stood.

"Wait until they're older," he said, pecking her on the cheek.

"Ugh."

"No more children?" he proclaimed, hoping that now she would be easy to persuade.

Reluctantly, TenTen nodded.

"Yeah. If I have to do this ever again I think I might die."

Neji laughed.

* * *

(X) I'm referring to the infamous 437 chapter. :O

(1) Obviously Neji's pick. Kaito means "sea, ocean" and "soar, fly" in Japanese. I think it worked because of Neji's fascination with flight and all that stuff.

(2) I don't know if Narutoworld has dryers, but just go with it.

(3) When I asked my mom about what type of stuff toddlers get into, she went off on this tangent about how when I was a wee kiddie I climbed into the dryer. So I decided to use it. :D

(4) Oh, give me a break. I had to pick names; it's a necessity. I would think that TenTen would've come up with this particular name. It's Japanese for "beautiful; chronicle." I think it's pretty. :P

(5) Come on, now. Uncle Naruto? It's flipping awesome.

_Again, I'm not too hot about the ending but I couldn't find a sure place to finish it. :/_

_And yes, TenTen and Neji have two kids. Miki is around . . . four and Kaito is maybe two and a half. I think those are pretty good ages._

_And eighthly, I HATE picking out names. It just takes forever! And since a lot of the names I saw were ones I'm going to use in Wrong, I couldn't pick them or variations. That broke it down to maybe ten. XD But I heart behindthename. It's a vast source of awesome info._

_Review!_


	3. Child Proofing

_Not only do I want to cover TenTen and Neji's relationship with their children with this short Fic, I also want to leave hints on how their marriage is. I think this chapter will show that it's not happy all the time in a marriage. I guess I'm trying to be realistic. :)_

_And secondly, because of the fact above, I'm not so hot about this chapter. :P I could've done better._

_Thirdly, this WILL be finished before my Spring Break (March 23 - 27). So, there ya go._

mysterious-bluerose: _Hey! :D Haha. Yep. I loved that line. :D :P You don't check your email often enough. I did update. Chapter 26. . . twenty eight days late. XD_

TwilightRaver: _He sounded like Shika-kun to me. ;P Uncle Naruto = Awesome._

StrawberrySmoothie99: _Which one? There are so many! ;D Yeah. I hate picking names; it drives me nuts trying to find appropriate meanings. She did? See, in reading standards I'm on chapter 261 because I'm lazy and only read when I have nothing else to do on the Internet. (shakes head at self) Hehe. I'll be entertained to see the rest._

90MLLu: _Haha. Thanks. :D_

**Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns this.

* * *

Proofing.

_Three - Child Proofing._

_Now where is that scroll?_ thought TenTen, frustrated as she searched under one of the chairs.

"What are you doing?" asked Neji, his footsteps signaling that he was coming closer.

"Looking for my scroll," she growled, hitting the chair in anger.

"What for?" Neji inquired, amused.

"Because I have a mission in an hour!" she responded loudly, rising to her feet.

Neji's forehead creased.

"What?"

"I SAID I HAVE A MISSION!" she shouted, repeating herself just below a scream.

Neji glared at his flustered wife.

"You never told me you had a mission," he said, clenching his teeth.

TenTen stared at him, silence clinging in the room.

"Yes, I did. I told you last night," she told him quickly.

Neji shook his head slowly.(1)

"No, you didn't. I would've remembered."

TenTen put her hands on her hips, a motion she was prone to when she was coming to a conclusion about something.

"Yes, I did. I remember because I have to go all the way to Iwagakure."

"You're going to Iwagakure?! Come on, TenTen!" Neji exclaimed in anger.

"I told you! You just weren't listening!! God, where is my SCROLL?!?!" she bellowed, turning to ransack the couch.

"We can't have a successful marriage if we don't communicate, TenTen!!" retorted Neji, his face growing red in fury.

TenTen spat out a harsh laugh, going into Miki's room to search.

"We're not done here!!" he shouted after her, following.

"Oh, yes, we are!!! Now help me find my damn—darn scroll!!!"

"Which scroll is it?" Neji questioned, his anger not yet left his voice.

"The one with my larger flails, katanas, and my bo staff," TenTen answered, counting the numerous weapons off on one hand.

"Well, maybe if you could clean up after yourself once in a while, you'd be able to find it!" Neji hissed at her.

TenTen's eyes narrowed.

She reached in her back pocket and withdrew a pointy shuriken.

"I will shove this up your a—!"

"Mo-oo–oom!!"

TenTen glowered at Neji before flicking the shuriken up, letting it get lodged in the ceiling.

"What, Miki?"

Their six year old daughter came in the room, her Byakugan eyes wide.

"If you want to know, Kaito took your scroll and is trying to fit it into a tree."

TenTen bit back her irritated scream and stomped out of the house to the backyard.

She found her son snickering as he pushed at the tree, willing the scroll to go in.

Without preliminary, TenTen gripped her son's shoulder, moved him aside and snatched her scroll.

Ignoring the chance to reprimand him, TenTen simply just went back into the house, grabbed the rest of her gear and left without another word.

She regretted it every second as she took another step.

* * *

Neji found his son in stunned shock.

"What's wrong with mommy?" Kaito asked, dumbfounded.

"She—I—nothing. Don't worry about it. And you don't mess with her scrolls; she needs them. Understand?"

Kaito nodded, stoppering some tears that had almost left his eyes.

Neji nodded decisively and told Kaito to go play.

Kaito ran off, pleased to be off the hook so easily.

That night, after Kaito had been put to bed, Neji decided to try and wrestle TenTen's shuriken out of the ceiling.

He retrieved a small stepladder and forcefully pulled it out.

Some plaster came loose and Neji brushed it off his clothes.

He thoughtfully cleaned off the shuriken and fingered it until he felt tired enough to retire to bed.

He placed it on his bedside table and undressed.

The bed was cold and lacking any sort of familiarity.

Neji wished TenTen was there.

* * *

"Mik!!" whispered Kaito in a low voice, attempting to keep his laugh under control.

Miki mumbled, pushing her pillow harder on top of her head.

She said something that sounded like, "Go away, Kaito."

Undeterred, Kaito entered her room and shook her.

"What?" she hissed, pulling the pillow off.

"Look what I have!" he said excitedly, holding up a gleaming kunai. "I'm gonna cut Daddy's hair!"

Miki snorted.

"Yeah, okay. Go ahead," she snickered, knowing the likely outcome of this plot.

Kaito left and Miki fell back asleep.

As he crept into his father and mother's room, Kaito struggled even more with his laughing.

He knew now, more than ever, his amusement must be kept under control.

Kaito reached his father's side and began, gently, cutting his father's hair with the kunai blade.

An hour later, Kaito was finished and dropped off to sleep beside his father.

* * *

Days later, TenTen started to return to her house from the Hokage's office, dreading what Neji would say upon her arrival.

She felt so ashamed . . . and she shouldn't have yelled.

But . . . in spite of her guilt, she did _want_ to see him. Four days were too much to be separated, not only from Neji but Miki and Kaito as well.

TenTen walked up the steps to the house, nervously sliding open the door.

Neji had his back to her, examining the ceiling with flat interest.

"Hey," she said.

Neji turned to face her, looking surprised.

"Hey," he responded, taking her in. "Your mission. It went well?"

TenTen bit her lip but nodded once.

"Neji, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled but I have a temper and it just got carried away and—!"

"I know. And I'm sorry too. I kept interrupting and I didn't even try to remember if you told me or not. Which you did. And I should have handled it better."

The two met halfway and hugged and kissed.

Then, confused, TenTen pulled back to look at him.

"Did you cut your hair?" she questioned, aghast.

Neji's look quickly turned to murderous.

"Guess what _your_ son did?"

"No," TenTen said, mouth open in shock.

She circled her husband to find his once long hair shortened several inches.

"Oh, my gosh."

Neji huffed his displeasure.

"I didn't know how to punish him."

"It's still uneven. Did you not try and fix it?"

Neji shook his head.

"I would've done a worse job."

TenTen laughed and kissed Neji again.

"We can fix it later. I promise."

Neji smiled.

* * *

(1) Mis-communication is a regular in marriage. It was common in my parent's marriage before they got divorced.

_Ew. Cheese._

_But I have to admit, it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. ;D_

_Review, por favor._


	4. Preteen Proofing, part one

_Okay. From here on out, there are going to be two parts to each age group. That way, I'll be able to accomplish both Miki and Kaito's experiences in my own time. :) However, I'll post them both at the same time. I'll be able to end on schedule (my own set one) and you'll get a double treat. Everybody wins. :D_

_And secondly, I got ALL of this from a real life experience: My sister's twelfth birthday party. Pure craziness and I will never, ever condone one ever again. XD_

AnimeFreak218: _Hahaha. Meh. He's a guy and he just doesn't know exactly how to deal with it since it's so out of the ordinary._

StrawberrySmoothie99: _Hehe. Yep, he's cool. :) Oh, no, I DID know. I'm a sucker for spoiling myself with certain things. XD_

90MLLu: _Thank you. I'm glad I did okay on it. :D Mhm. He's nuts._

Princess of Storms: _:D Not far away, my friend. You'll be surprised at what I pull out of my hat of tricks. :D_

hakuisagirl: _Thanks so much!!!! I wasn't really sure if I portrayed it right, but thanks so much for your input. Congratulations on the 18 years!!! That's wonderful!_

TwilightRaver: _Hahahaha. So yours is next week? Mine starts tomorrow, after school lets out. :/_

mysterious-bluerose: _Aw, that's so mean!!! ;P Ugh. . . Twilight. . . Thankies, girlie. :D_

sasusakufan9573: _Thanks!_

_Mk. Here we go again._

**Disclaimer:** I'm all out of witty quips lately to prove why I don't own this. Dang.

* * *

Four - Preteen Proofing, _part one_.

They wouldn't stop screaming.

The yelling, the gossip, the hitting.

It was all too much for TenTen Hyuga to take.

Hastily, she pulled her daughter Miki aside.

"How evil are they?"

Miki shot a glance at her mother.

"What?"

TenTen sighed.

"They keep talking about each other. Like the evil little preteens they are."

"Mom."

Miki had on her you've-got-to-be-kidding-me face.

TenTen sighed again.

"Whatever. Just tell them to stop pushing or I'm going to send them all home."

"Fine," said Miki, hopping away in a brisk skip.

Just then, Neji entered the living room, looking surprised to see that many girls in his house.

"What the h—?"

"Shh!" scolded TenTen with a look. "Watch them in their natural habitat. It's fascinating."

Neji raised an eyebrow at his wife, seriously questioning if she had gone insane.

Neji glanced over at the nine girls assembled in their living room.

Miki was in the middle of it, yelling over all of them.

A few girls on the outside of the group were glaring at each other, their eyes speaking murder.

And in the middle everyone was shoving, shouting and screaming over each other.

Neji heaved a sigh.

"I thought I said no parties?" he murmured to his wife.

TenTen shrugged limply.

"I gave in. You should've been there. Miki was wearing me down and everything. She's really strange like that."

Neji stared at TenTen.

"Are you serious? She's your _daughter_. _You _dictate the rules. Maybe you're just too weak-hearted."

TenTen looked at Neji to see a small smile on his face.

She did not reveal her expression as she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and dragged him into the kitchen.

TenTen released Neji as they crossed through the doorjamb and rested against the opposite counter, smirking.

"Tell me something," she said, curious.

Neji raised another eyebrow.

"Anything," he answered surely.

"How susceptible am I to bribes?"

Neji narrowed his eyes.

"And why do you wish to know this?"

"Because Miki said if I let her have a party, she'd do her chores when I told her to do them."

Neji rolled his eyes.

"You didn't believe that. Really?"

TenTen shrugged and pushed off the counter, going over to lean on Neji.

"Pathetic, hm?" she suggested, watching his eyes closely.

Neji answered by kissing her, his fingers resting lightly on her neck.

However, feeling like he was being watched, Neji paused, glancing in the direction of the kitchen door.

Miki and her friends were assembled, all of them, save one, looking awed and bemused.

Miki's face displayed horror.

"Mom, Dad, can I talk to you in private?" she hissed, voice tight and restricted.

TenTen eyed Neji before following their daughter into their bedroom.

Miki stood before them, arms crossed and looking angry.

"You're ruining it!" she yelled once Neji had shut the door.

TenTen raised an eyebrow in amusement.

Neji rolled his eyes.

"And how are we doing that?" asked TenTen tiredly.

"You just are!!" screamed Miki. "Why can't you guys just stay in here and leave all of us alone?!"

Neji stared, trying to piece together what he and his wife had done wrong in the eyes of their twelve year old.

"Miki," started Neji.

He waited until she had focused her attention before continuing.

"You're the one who tricked your mother into this. It's your party, but it's _our_ house."

Miki pouted, but left as she stomped out of the room.

Neji glanced at TenTen, an expression of surprise and annoyance comprised on her face.

"I swear, I didn't raise that child. She's an orphan or something just _acting_ like she belongs to us when she really doesn't."

Neji smirked at his wife and smoothed her hair down with his hand in a comforting gesture.

TenTen sighed contentedly.

* * *

At the sound of loud squeals, TenTen wearily rose from beside Neji on the bed. He rolled over in his sleep, a second later resuming his light snoring.

TenTen walked down the hall to hear hushed whispers coming from Miki's bedroom.

Sneakily, TenTen crept just outside the door to listen.

"And Hana is just being a stupid loudmouth. I wish she'd shut up!" a voice was saying.(1)

This statement was followed by a short, jeering laugh.

TenTen swallowed and then backtracked her steps to continue into the living room.

They were watching a movie, some romantic comedy about three love struck ninja that TenTen had bought a few years ago.

TenTen stood in the doorframe, surveying it for a few seconds before Miki noted her arrival.

TenTen gestured her forward.

Miki shoved her popcorn bowl into her favored friend-of-the-moment's lap.(2)

TenTen pulled Miki into the bathroom.

"Where are the other two girls?"

Miki shrugged, seeming unconcerned.

TenTen sighed.

"Look, I heard them in your bedroom and they were talking about someone behind their back. You know I don't like that, Miki, and you should know by now that who you're friends with interprets who you are as a person. And they don't seem like very nice girls."

"Look, Mom, I can't control other people's actions."

"No, but you can pick your friends to resemble you."

Miki rolled her eyes.

"And I want you guys in bed by midnight. Midnight, Miki, okay? I'm not going to come in and check on you. You have to be in bed by midnight. And Neji and I both have a mission tomorrow. We need our rest."

Miki nodded and said "okay, yes" and that was that.

TenTen retreated back into her room, flipping the light off as she went.

She slipped underneath the covers and Neji moved again, this time, taking hostage of her stomach, pulling her into him.

TenTen released a short laugh and patted his hand.

Soon after, she fell asleep.

* * *

"TenTen."

TenTen stuffed her head into the pillow.

"TenTen," called that someone again, nuzzling her ear and then her face.

She swatted him away like a fly.

"Neji. . ." she sighed.

"Get up. Now. It's nine o'clock."

TenTen jerked, looking at him blearily.

"What?! Are you SERIOUS?!!" she gasped, sitting up quickly, beginning to pull on clothes.

Neji was smiling.

"No. It's six o'clock, actually. But you wouldn't get up. Drastic measures had to be taken."

She groaned and fell back onto the pillow to calm down.

"Not funny. Not funny at all."

"I beg to differ. But get up. I want you to see something."

TenTen harrumphed and rose, allowing Neji to take her hand and lead her to the living room.

TenTen was graced with sights of nine sleeping girls, scattered over the different surfaces.

And then she saw the mess.

The twelve year old named Hana had whipped cream on her cheek.(3)

And Miki had makeup smeared on her lips and forehead.

Cake was on a few surfaces of tables and chairs.

A water had been overturned and there was a big puddle near the kitchen door.

TenTen clenched her hands but failed in controlling her temper.

"MIKI!!!!!"

* * *

Hours later, all of the girls and their teams were cleaning the Hyuga house, forced into it by TenTen Hyuga.

Their numerous senseis stood on the porch outside, laughing and joking around.

When Kaito came home from a friend's house later on, he was surprised to see so many people at his home.

When he asked what they had done, Miki had told him to mind his own business.

Kaito figured it had been bad.

* * *

(1) I love the name Hana. If I ever have a daughter, I want that to be her middle name. :)

(2) Again, this is something I experienced with my own sister's twelfth birthday party. People were fighting, gossiping, and talking about each other behind each other's backs. And I just wanna say this: Preteens are very shallow. I hope they grow out of it once they reach high school.

(3) This happened to me around that age. I was at a party and I woke up to find out I had shaving cream on the side of my face.

_That was terrible. Really. *sigh*_

_:(_

_Now go read part two._


	5. Preteen Proofing, part two

_For a disclaimer, see the previous part of chapter four._

* * *

Four - Preteen Proofing, _part two_.

Kaito was awaiting his punishment from his Academy teacher, letting his feet scuff the floor as he swung his legs around lightly.

"Kaito Hyuga, come here," said the teacher, looking stern and intimidating.

Hanging his head in defeat, Kaito hastily moved forward.

* * *

"Hello?" Neji Hyuga said as he picked up the ringing phone.(1)

"Hyuga-sama?" came a voice vaguely familiar.

"This is Neji," said Neji, nodding his head a little.

"Hyuga-sama, this is Goro Yamakachi from the Academy. I'm Kaito's sensei at the Academy."

"Hello. You're doing well, I hope?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'm calling because of something Kaito has done."

Neji sighed and sat down immediately.

"Yes?"

"Well, I would much rather talk with you in person about this. Can you come by the Academy around seven forty tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, I can do that. Should I be concerned?"

"Well. . . I would take a venture to say no."

Neji nodded, as if Goro could see him.

"See you tomorrow morning, Hyuga-sama."

"Yes. Thank you, Goro."

The two men hung up.

On one end, a man was confused as to what was in store for tomorrow. And the other was fearful of how the imposing Hyuga would act.

* * *

Neji briskly set out about five minutes before seven, knowing he would be able to reach the Academy on time.

He had asked Kaito that night why exactly the teacher had called, but Kaito had been very tight-lipped about it.

Neji had eventually given up, content but also nervous to receive the information the following day.

TenTen had expressed concern, but Neji had reassured her.

"Listen," he had said that very morning, "it'll be okay, whatever it is. How much trouble can Kaito possibly get into."

Neji ignored TenTen's raised eyebrows.

The Academy was surrounded in fog, but the sun was burning brightly, so it would not last long.

Classes had already started, but the halls were surprisingly clear of students, so Neji was not smashed up against a wall trying to reach his meeting.

Neji reached the classroom where Kaito and his classmates were taught, and was shocked to find it empty, their sensei sitting on his desk, waiting.

"Hyuga-sama," greeted Goro.

They bowed to each other and then Neji asked, "Where is everyone?"

"I sent them to do target practice with shuriken. It's a little below their level, but they can handle their own."

Neji nodded, waiting for Goro to begin.

"Kaito is a very good student, much like you. . . However, he is a constant troublemaker in the classroom. I do not understand why he does it, but he is always disrupting my classroom, making it almost impossible to do a lesson."

Neji's brow furrowed as he considered this.

"Is this why you called me here today?" Neji asked.

"No. There's more."

Goro gestured for Neji to follow him.

"Yesterday, I dismissed the class early for lunch. Kaito was one of the first out. I left campus to go eat at Ichiraku with a few fellow teachers and when I returned, Kaito was sitting outside one of the teacher's offices. I asked him why he was there, and he just shrugged."

"What exactly did he do?"

Goro examined Neji curiously.

"He took all of the toilet seats off in all of the bathrooms on campus."

It took Neji a second to comprehend this, and when he did, he blanched.

"How could he accomplish that without help?" Neji stuttered.

Goro shrugged.

"We don't know. He still won't tell us much. Very stoic. Much like yourself, Hyuga-sama."

Neji's mouth was a thin line.

"I think Kaito did it just because he could. He doesn't seem to have a reason for any of the pranks he pulls. He reminds me a lot of the Sixth Hokage, when he was in the Academy."

Neji smiled in spite of the situation. Naruto was such a goofball.

"Do I need to talk with him?" Neji inquired as they came outside and surveyed the soon-to-be graduating students throwing shuriken on marks.

Kaito was near the middle, joking with a few friends.

"Well, I've come up with a solution here. I want to know if you will agree—I have asked Kaito to stay after class each day and store and clean the shuriken and kunai used each day."

Neji nodded approvingly.

"I think that is an adequate solution. However, my wife and I will probably give punishment also."

Goro nodded also.

"Yes, I do believe that's best. Kaito will be placed on that duty for one month."

"Alright then. Thank you for calling me here today, Goro."

"Anytime, Hyuga-sama."

They bowed and Neji left.

* * *

"Kaito! Come here," said Neji as he heard Kaito come in through the front door later that day.

Kaito sighed and shuffled into the room, ready to face his intimidating father.

"I went and talked to Goro-sensei today."

Kaito's eyebrows rose, but he hid it under his long hair.

"You know your punishment that will take place there, correct?"

Kaito nodded slowly.

"Your mother and I have already discussed your punishment that will take place here. You will come home after you're done at the Academy and will immediately begin chores here. That includes dishes, beds, sweeping, and dusting."

Kaito nodded in silent agreement.

As Neji fell ultimately silent and Kaito began to retreat to his room, a question appeared in Neji's mind.

"Wait, Kaito."

His son turned and looked at him, his face visibly worn and exhausted.

"Why did you do it?"

Kaito stared at his father, seemingly surprised he'd asked.

Kaito shrugged.

"I just wanted to. It seemed funny at the time."

Neji nodded and Kaito disappeared.

Neji shook his head, amused.

Like Naruto indeed.

* * *

(1) I don't know if they have phones in Narutoworld. Just deal.

_I'm not too happy with this one, either, but I might be picky right now. I also wrote this in a hurry, so I couldn't exactly find confidence with it._

_:/_

_Review before you get tired of me rambling._


	6. Teen Proofing, part one

_I know what you're thinking. KNO, what the crap? Two updates in a single DAY?! Are you running a fever?! Omigosh!_

_And the answer is no, I'm not._

_I'm on Spring Break (Woot!) and I just have nothing better to do. Sort of. But that's another story. XD_

14-zodiac-mokona: _Haha. I guess they do. I always thought them somewhat dysfunctional. :D_

TwilightRaver: _Aw, that's just a week away! You should be excited! :D_

hakuisagirl: _Hm. Dang. So THAT'S why I act up in school. ;D Thanks._

StrawberrySmoothie99: _Too true. My mom wasn't. She was mad. :P :) They have cameras?! SNAPS!_

mysterious-bluerose: _Middle school was suckish for me as well. I really came into my own as a person in high school. I will be sad when I leave it next year. :'( Yes, it was quite terrible. Though, it was very interesting to see how my sister acted around her friends. :D Thank you, dear! You're one of my favorite reviewers!!! :D I like the Kaiu!!! What's it mean?_

beckylovesgigs: _Haha. Rofl-ing? Thanks. :)_

90MLLu: _Thankies! Enjoy this one!_

Gemina: _WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???? OMIGOSH!!!! :P Hahaha. Nah. Kaito's too stupid. ;D_

_Anywho, guys, this is over with this chapter and the next! Thanks for all of your support and alerts and reviews!!!_

_:D_

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned this. But I don't. But dreams DO come true!!!!

* * *

Five - Teen Proofing, _part one_.

"Really? . . . Really?! OH, MY GOD!!!"

"Miki."

Miki sighed and said, "Hold on, Hana."

She turned her head to look at her mother, who was looking stern with her arms crossed.

"What?"

TenTen's eyes flashed with anger.

"How long have you been on that phone?"

Miki didn't even flinch.

"Ten minutes."

TenTen stared at her, examining her for a flinch or noticeable sign.

"You're lying."

Miki turned from defiant to outraged in a matter of seconds. A task she'd picked up from TenTen herself.

"Mo-oo–oom!!" yelled Miki, sounding scandalized.

TenTen huffed and shouted for her husband.

Neji froze from his place in their bedroom.

"Y—Yes?" he called back, sounding anxious.

"Come here."

_Damn_, Neji said. _She's using __**the Voice**__._

Not stupid enough to dawdle, Neji hurriedly left, arriving at his wife's side in a matter of seconds.

TenTen's face was flushed and her brown eyes appeared livid.

"You. Deal. With. Her."

And then she left quickly, the front door slamming shut behind her.

With his eyebrows raised, Neji turned to look at his daughter.

Miki was huddled on the couch, the phone still off the receiver, with her arms crossed.

Her brown hair was pinned lopsided on top of her head and her face was red, much like TenTen's had been.

Neji was struck, as he had been over several weeks, how much Miki looked like her mother.

He sighed and sat in a chair across from her.

"So, what did you do?"

Miki pouted and said softly, "Nothing."

Neji eyed the phone again.

"How long have you been on that phone?"

Miki swiftly glanced at her father. She could not lie to him, and she reluctantly knew it.

"Three."

"Hours?!"

Miki nodded shamefully.

"What could you possibly have to talk about for three hours?" asked Neji, aghast.

Miki seemed a little hesitant.

"Come on. Fess up," Neji said grimly.

Miki took a deep breath and then her words rushed out like a flood.

"Okay, well, Hana said that Hideki said that Katsu is totally thinking of asking me to the festival next week, but Aimi is being a total b—I mean, loser, and keeps trying to persuade him to ask her instead, and I was all OH, MY GOSH, what a wh—um, that is, what a jerk!"

The only things from Miki's sentence that entered into Neji's mind were Katsu, festival, and week.

Neji felt like TenTen's bo staff had just stabbed him in the back of the head.

"Wait a second," Neji began, interrupting Miki as she continued.

Miki stopped immediately, her expression suddenly fearful.

"This . . . _boy_ . . . he's going to ask you to the Spring Festival?"

Miki nodded slowly, white eyes wide.

"You're only sixteen!" Neji exclaimed, bewildered at how this had happened so fast.

Miki sent her father a look that involved rolling her eyes.(1)

"Yeah, and that's a problem, why? You and mom got pregnant with me when you were twenty."

Neji glared at her.

"That's not the point—!"

"Oh, yes, it is, Dad, so don't try and play it off. You and mom were only four years older than me when you got pregnant with me. And you got married when you were nineteen! I don't see why this is much different. It's just a date!"

Neji fumed silently for a few seconds.

Then feeling completely humiliated and unwilling to say what he thought next, Neji forced himself to look at his daughter.

"Has—has your mother talked with you about—about. . ."

Miki stared at her father, not catching the gist of what he was saying.

"About . . . . sex?"

There was a second of expectant silence before the explosion erupted.

Miki's jaw dropped.

"Oh, my GOD," she screeched, rising from the couch. "How DARE you!! OH, MY GOD!"

Neji sighed and slumped against the back of the chair.

"Miki," Neji started.

"No, Dad, just no. Don't speak to me. That is the single grossest thing I've ever heard you say. Did mom tell you to do this? Because it's not funny. I'm not laughing. OH, MY GOD!!"

She walked out of the room, still ranting, half to herself and half to Neji.

Neji sighed again.

Daughters were hard.

* * *

(1) SHUT UP, ABBY!!!!!! Gah! ;P

_I debated on continuing with Neji meeting the guy in question, but I liked the ending where it was. :D_

_Review, please._


	7. Teen Proofing, part two

_For a Disclaimer, see the previous chapter._

* * *

Five - Teen Proofing, _part two_.

Kaito snickered as he slid open his window.

Summer air leaked in, and he sniffed the pleasant aroma.

Nobu laughed from a few yards away.

"Come on, Kaito!" he hissed, trying to keep quiet.

Kaito rolled his eyes and whispered back, "Shut up, I'm coming!"

Kaito expertly maneuvered out of his open window, pulling out a shuriken and flicking it into the sill so it would stay. Then slowly, Kaito pulled the window down, making sure it was propped up by the shuriken in a comfortable position.

When this was done, Kaito went to Nobu, and the two of them ran like hell toward town.

---

"Ah," sighed Kaito, grinning happily as he slouched in his chair.

Nobu looked at him stupidly, his dark eyes dancing.

"So, how many more of these do you think we can drink before we pass out?" inquired Nobu, his words slurring together.

Kaito eyed the liquor and snorted, somehow finding it amusing.(1)

"Maybe like, seven," he answered, licking his lips.

"Hm. Seven," mused Nobu.

"Hey."

"What?"

"Hey! Nobu!"

"I said 'What?'!"

"Oh. How much trouble do you think we're going to be in?"

Nobu smiled.

"A lot. Your mom's gonna be PISSED!"

Kaito grimaced.

"Maybe we should go home. . ." said Kaito, sounding unsure.

"No, no. Stay for one more. One more and we'll go home."

Kaito nodded and reached for another cup of overflowing sake.

---

Kaito awoke to loud noises.

He noticed vaguely that he was, in fact, in his bed.

_Good_, he thought, relieved.

"KAITO!" came the muffled sound of his mother's voice through the door.

Kaito blocked his ears, placing his hands over his hears.

_So loud!_

More pounding.

Kaito attempted to stand a little quickly and the beginnings of a headache started in his brain.

He groaned but stumbled over to the door, unlocking it.

His mother was standing there, looking furious.

However, before she could say anything, his father touched her shoulder, telling her to let him take care of this.

Kaito moved backwards, not wanting to face his father's wrath, which was much more fierce than anything his mother could produce.

Neji shut the door behind him, much to TenTen's silent protests.

Neji eyed his son who looked petrified, hugging the wall.

Taking in his rugged visage, Neji noted the dilated eyes and general not-all-thereness.

Kaito grimaced, as if he could read his father's mind.

Neji stepped forward and stared his son in the eyes.

"Now that you've had your fun, don't do it again. I hate doing damage control on your mother."

And Neji held out ten dollars to his son.

"Bribes?" Kaito questioned quietly.

Neji raised an eyebrow but left.

Kaito wondered how his father had figured it out and why he wasn't angry.

Possessed by this, Kaito absently pocketed the money and sat on his bed, thinking.

"My dad is so cool. . ." Kaito said, this profound thought leaving his mouth truthfully. "Too bad he's a sucker though."

Kaito and Nobu got drunk again two weeks later and suffered much more severe consequences.

* * *

(1) My friend freshpaint informed me that Kaito's name also means "sake dipper". She then suggested this. :D

_Ha. You've just got to laugh a little at that._

_So, we're done guys! Yay! This has been fun! :D_

_And now that I'm done with this, I can start a new one-shot series. Be on the lookout for it; it's titled, "Kimonos"._

_:)_

_Thanks for all the reviews and I'll be seeing you guys soon!_

_Sayonara!_


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